Bling Bling!
Back in the day (my day), there was talk about the generation gap. Adults didn't understand their kids and visa versa. Today, I'm afraid that chasm has grown a lot wider over the years, or I've just grown a lot older. A case in point is some of my staff. I work with a couple of editors who are known for wearing skate-park clothing, shoes nearly untied, and wearing their hats on backwards. (And I thought Dale Earnhardt Jr. was the one who invented that.) What's up with that? Despite their outward appearance, which is politically incorrect in our corporate office, they are hard-charging workers who are on top of things.

In order to "understand" where this newest generation is coming from, I turned to a person in the know, Mike Finnegan. As one of the skate-park kids and a former editor on Mini Truckin' magazine, Mike is in tune with what's cool. In fact, he wrote the Mini Truckin' Guide to Slang, a layman's guide to current street talk and such. I found it so interesting that I thought I'd pass it on so you too can be hip and cool. I know I am after reading this. There will be a quiz to follow.


Mini Truckin' Guide to Slang
If cheddar equals money and I need money for a new set of twanky twos, then flossin' is expensive, right? Fo' sheezy! Everybody got that? If your dome is on fire from trying to comprehend the first sentence of this story, then you'll need the MT Guide to Slang. This month, I'm puttin' it down for the 2K3 and bustin' out a guide to all the slang you'll need to converse with other mini-truckers. This priceless reference guide will enable you to keep it real whenever another mini-trucker is cole chillin' on your set.

You can also use this guide to earn some skrilla, duckets, or even some ice by teaching other non-mini-truckers the wealth of knowledge you've accumulated by reading MT (and Sport Truck). Then you can take all of that skrilla to your nearest dealer, buy a new whip, and pimp it out with a set of dubs and some juice. So check it as I drop some knowledge and skool ya' on the fine art of spittin' game at shows and cruises.


Generic Terms
Hauler: anything with a truck bed
Ride: any car, truck, or motorcycle
Rig: a truck
Whip: any car, truck, or motorcycle

Now that you know what you're rollin', you have to learn how to tell your homies about all the cool mods you want to make to your ride.


Wheels and Tires
Deuce Deuces: refers to 22-inch custom wheels
Deuce Tres: refers to 23-inch custom wheels
Doughnuts: can refer to rims, tires, or wheels
Dubs: refers to 20-inch custom wheels
Jordans: refers to 23-inch wheels la basketball player Michael Jordan's jersey number
Legals: refers to 18-inch custom wheels
Rims: the metal part of the wheel that the tire mounts to
Rounds: wheels in general
Rubbers: tires, usually low-profile units
Rubber bands: low-profile tires
Spreewells: refers to a style of wheel that has a center that spins even when the wheel is not in motion
Twanky Twos: refers to 22-inch custom wheels
Wires: refers to wire wheels that are popular among the lowrider crowd


Suspension Parts and Types
Air ride: refers to an air suspension
'Bags: airbags. Refers to an air suspension that uses airbags for adjustability
Juice: refers to hydraulic suspension systems.
Cans: refers to an air cylinder (or part of the female anatomy)
Cylinders: refers to an air or hydraulic cylinder
Hangers: refers the mounting points for leaf-spring suspensions
Leaves: refers to a leaf-spring-type rear suspension
Linked: refers to any multilink type (usually rear) suspension
Solenoids: electric air valves that control airflow between a reserve air tank and an airbag
Switches: refers to any type of adjustable suspension


Modifications
Body drop: a hip term for an alternative method of channeling the body of a truck down over the frame
Body-slammed: Jeremy Cook's favorite term for a truck that lays its rockers on the ground
Channeling: precursor to the modern body drop. Channeling is a method for lowering old hot rods without altering their suspensions
Chop: to lower the roofline of a vehicle by shortening the posts around its windows
Shave: to remove a factory body part and weld its mounting hole shut, leaving a clean-shaven body panel
Suicide: to remount the doors of a vehicle so they open backwards

And finally, we'll complete your training with some general expressions you can throw around as if you've been down for the cause since the beginning.


Expressions
Bitchin': Travis Noack's favorite term for a really nice truck
Bling-bling: chrome, polished items, or wheels
Bogart: to take something and not pass it back
Cabbage: money
Cheddar: money
Crib: house or dwelling
Da bomb: the best of anything
Dumped: a vehicle that has been lowered
5-0: the police; also see Po-po
Flexin': showing off a unique aspect of your vehicle
Flossin': to possess something unique or good
Fo' sheezy: for sure
Frontin': to lie about something
Ghetto: something of inferior quality or cheapness
Goin' under the knife: to shave your entire truck, or cut the truck in half
Hammered: a vehicle that is very low to the ground
Hella skrill: a lot of money
Holla at me: give me a call
I.C.E.: refers to In Car Entertainment
In the weeds: you ought to know by now, and, no, we aren't referring to a recreational activity
Jay Leno'ed: to retire a show truck by putting it in the garage permanently
Metric assload: Lance's new favorite way of describing a large amount of anything
Mud duck: an ugly truck
Off the hook: of exceptional quality
Parkin' lot pimpin'/Parkin' lot player: an individual who spends a great deal of time hanging out in a parking lot
Perpetratin': to pretend
Playa hatin': being jealous
Po-po: the police
Postin': to hang out in one place
That's how I roll: stating one's state of being
Trailer Queen: a truck that is never driven
Throwin' salt on my game: to mess up someone's plan
True dat: I agree with what you just said
Weds: refers to the most popular wheel of the early '90s-and the last set of 15-inch wheels to grace the cover of MT, the famous Weds GS