Every issue that lands in your grubby little hands is the result of many long hours of work from the staff here at Sport Truck. In an effort to get you better acquainted with the people who put your magazine together each month, we bribed the Human Resources department to give up the personnel files, and thought that we would pass them on to you

Joe Pettit - Editor
Joe is the fearless leader with nerves of steel. Whether he's going 200 mph on the racecourse or watching his heart pound 200 bpm from a coffee overdose, he's the speed racer of the office. Known to bounce off office walls or military Web sites like a pinball, it can be hard to pin him down for pertinent things, such as raises, time off, or raises. Did we mention raises yet? Damn it, Joe, read this column!

John O'Neill - Feature Editor
John is the equivalent of a retarded monkey with a disposable camera - trust us, we've seen the documentaries and it's dead on. Somehow he passes off going to shows and getting drunk with the readers as real work, but the only people he's really fooling are his parole officer and some chick that keeps calling the office. By the way, please stop calling. He really did contract gonorrherpasyphilitis and is living in a leper commune somewhere in the South Pacific. Don't believe us? Call his cell phone and ask him. (407) 338-0036. Cheers!

Gary Blount - Staff Editor
Gary is God's gift to a lot of things, but mainly to tools. If it wasn't for Gary, nothing on the planet would be broken and tool manufacturers would go out of business. Have you ever heard the term bull in a china shop? Well, that's pretty much him in a nutshell. If MacGyver had a much younger, more proficient, and most of all, cuter, brother, Gary probably would've killed him while attempting to stick a kerosene-fueled pulse jet engine in a Chevy LUV. Of course, we all love him, but when he jumps up and evacuates the building, you had better be fast on his heels.

Vanessa Roveto - Group Managing Editor
Vanessa is our knight in spell-checking armor. When she isn't wading through stacks of granola or hippy love bracelets, she's dealing with the absolute mess of pages that we turn in each month. Thanks to her keen ability to spew out a political diatribe while proofreading, she is our ace when it comes to all things grammatical. Without her, we would sound like prepubescent kids playing with Hot Wheels and laughing at naked Barbie dolls. Wait, that's exactly how we sound. She's fired!

Calin Head - Tech Editor
Calin gave up his elaborate lifestyle as an auto upholsterer to join the ranks of overworked and underpaid editors, but he still sews in his office to relieve the stresses of making paper airplanes out of Truckin' magazine. He's our enabling superhero for sure. He can fight off evildoers with his amazing chin-mullet powers. He gives us time to put together our tangled stories for Vanessa to hatchet to death. Calin has opened up to us a little, but after hearing about his recurring dream of nipping off a one-legged midget's toes with a set of tinsnips, we'll keep him at bay.

Joel Chadwick - Art Director
Joel is the reclusive artist who sits beneath the stairs, feeding on bags of Doritos and pencil shavings. When he isn't growing a mohawk and sticking it to the man, you can usually find him laughing hysterically about the latest shark attack. We can't complain too much, though, as there aren't a lot of artists who work for surf wax and lap dances. Laugh it up, but wait until it's your turn to put the G-string on.