Chrysler to Close 25% of its Dealerships in the U.S.
789 of Chrysler LLC's 3,181 dealers were notified that their franchise agreements will be terminated, if a bankruptcy court approves the company's restructuring plan. Chrysler filed for bankruptcy on April 9 and would like to eliminate as much as 25% of its retail showrooms by June 9, 2009. The automaker plans to scale down its operations amidst a deteriorating market, to a level similar to more successful automakers, such as Toyota, which has just 1,200 dealerships in America. According to Chrysler, the affected dealerships sell more used vehicles than they sell new ones. General Motors is also expected to axe approximately 1,000 of its more than 6,200 dealerships as well, leaving two of The Big 3 looking more like the Extra Medium 2.

California Bill to Require ANNUAL Emissions Tests for Vehicles 15-Years-Old and Older Dies in Committee
A really lame proposal for legislation A.B. 859, which requires annual smog check inspections for vehicles 15-years old and older never made it out of the Assembly Appropriations Committee. Funds from the bill would have gone toward an account used to scrap older cars and trucks, but the bill wasn't passed so we can all breathe a sigh of relief. The last thing we need is another incentive for truck owners to scrap the old iron they have in the yard.

Custom Painters to Get Their Due at the Next SEMA Show
The '09 SEMA Show will have all the usual halls dedicated to wheels and tires, performance wares, and trucks, but it will also have an area set up specifically for aftermarket paint and tool suppliers to show off their stuff. This means there will be some extra-special display vehicles to see as well. If we see any outstanding trucks, they'll be in ST. In case you were planning on scamming your way into the '09 SEMA Show, it's going down November 3-6, 2009

Get Cash Back for Buying a New Exhaust
From May 1 through Aug. 31, 2009, you'll get $75.00 back if you purchase a qualifying DynoMax exhaust system—including the brand-new DynoMax stainless steel cat-back systems.

"DynoMax is excited to launch complete systems in stainless steel, and to make those even more appealing to enthusiasts, we're offering a special $75.00 rebate on our complete line of performance exhaust systems," said Joe Pase, director, performance products, Tenneco.

The Power Up promotion from DynoMax is available at participating retailers nationwide. Qualifying systems and redemption forms will be available online after the program start date.

For more information about the Power Up offer and to find a dealer, visit DynoMax.com or call (734) 384-7806.

Will GM Hit the Bricks?
The rumor that General Motors might move from its headquarters in Detroit, Michigan, has been running rampant ever since the threat of going bankrupt has. We don't have any evidence that a move is imminent other than the fact that GM purchased the Renaissance Center last may for $600 million and immediately tried to sell it and lease back its office space. The company hasn't been able to unload the building due to obvious economic factors. Meanwhile, in Warren, Michigan, site of GM's technology center, the mayor has been offering generous tax incentives for the struggling automaker to ditch Detroit.

10 Mostly Worthless Facts Odd Ways to Get Arrested Edition
1. A woman was arrested for dropping an f-bomb in a Galveston County, Texas, Wal-Mart. The charges were later dropped due to insufficient evidence. What we learned here is there are no snitches at Wal-Mart.

2. 46 year-old Elvis Alonzo Barrett of Palm Beach, Florida, ended up with 50 traffic citations after trying to evade police. The violations included allegedly possessing crack cocaine, running a red light, hitting another car, fleeing the scene of an accident, and evading officers of the law. Odds are good that Elvis will not leave the building after that mess.

3. Paul Wood was arrested after ending an argument with his wife by chucking the family cat at her face. The cat was OK, his marriage was not.

4. Richard Nunez of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, was in a feud with a neighbor in his apartment building about a noise complaint. What was his solution to the problem? Super-gluing the other guy's front door shut. Seems like a peaceful solution to us.

5. 25 year-old Darnell Frazier of Minnesota isn't real bright. After being pulled over by the cops and asked for his ID, he lied and told the cops his name was Darnell Lewis. The problem was he had a tattoo on his neck in plain sight that said "Darnell Frazier." The cops arrested him on four misdemeanor warrants, including driving after license revocation, driving after suspension, and no proof of insurance. He also had several felony warrants for his arrest, including probation violation. The neck don't lie, Darnell!

6. Rev. Robert Whipkey of Colorado was busted for jogging naked around the local high school's track. Whipkey said, "I'm a heavy man and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely." We thought that was the point of goin' jogging.

7. A Milwaukee County man was arrested for shooting his lawn mower. "It's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want," Walendowski told police. All we wanna know is if he spared the weed-eater. Those things are expensive!

8. A Florida doctor dressed as Captain America during a local pub crawl was busted for groping a woman who refused to touch the burrito he had stuffed down the crotch of his costume. He was also popped for trying to flush a joint he had hidden in his costume down the toilet at the police station. Nothing good can come from stuffing your pants.

9. Barnstable, Massachusetts police arrested Allahmanamjad Barbel after his sister playfully put handcuffs on him at a birthday party and couldn't get them off. Police removed the cuffs and then, after running his name through the computer, discovered several outstanding warrants and immediately re-cuffed him. Jackass!

10. Kathleen Cherry, 53, was arrested for DUI in Carson City, Nevada. She is a phlebotomist working on contract with the sheriff's office and was driving to the jailhouse to administer a blood test to a DUI suspect. Doh!

Say What?
The staff speaks and you listen. It's that simple. This month's question is:
Hollywood is running short on creativity these days and has been assaulting our senses with a glut of movies that rip off sucessful television shows. Which old boob toob show that has yet to be turned into a big screen production would you most like to see in a theater?

Calin: Man, there are so many, how do I decide? I was going to go with B.J. and the Bear but I remembered that show really sucked and if I need to watch a guy and a monkey I'll pop in Any Which Way But Loose. So I guess I would like to see Magnum P.I. made into a movie. That way I can see Magnum and his boys, Rick and T.C., make fun of Higgins again. Hopefully Magnum will still beat up on Robin Masters' 308 GTS Ferrari.

Monica: After an extensive internet search and reflection into my childhood, my final conclusion is that no TV show remains that I would like to see turned into a big screen production. Anyone who knows me very well would not be surprised by this answer, for I indeed lack enthusiasm for most TV shows and movies in general.

Mike: I would scarf down imitation butter-flavored popcorn for a few hours while watching James Garner wheel his gold Firebird Esprit, and con his way through another case as a P.I. in a Rockford Files movie, even if the dude is like 90 years old.

Andy: It's got to be Gilligan's Island for sure. That show had it all—a select group of individuals all with different personalities and backgrounds thrust together to co-habitate a small island with apparently limitless natural resouces. Not to mention that two of the three chicks were hot! Here's the new cast as I would have it:

Gilligan = Ben Stiller
The Skipper = Seth Rogan
Mary Ann = Megan Fox
Ginger = Eva Mendez
Thurston Howell = Donald Trump
Lovey Howell = Kim Cattrall
The Professer = Me

You'll notice that I would take the role as The Professer. Call me crazy, but Ginger and Mary Ann were always hugging up on him in the series. I could have a fun time on an island with Megan Fox and Eva Mendez. I think that's probably why they never got off that friggin' island.

Obscure Vehicle Code Of The Month
Well, we’ve run out of slang terms so we’re moving onto something even better: vehicle codes that hopefully you’re not violating. If you are, take this as a warning.

Vermont Statute 3212: Attempting to elude a law enforcement officer on a snowmobile
An operator of a snowmobile shall bring the snowmobile to a stop and not attempt to elude a law enforcement officer when signaled to do so by a law enforcement officer wearing insignia identifying him or her as such, or operating a law enforcement vehicle or snowmobile sounding a siren or displaying a flashing blue or blue and white signal lamp. (Added 1983, No. 212 (Adj. Sess.), § 2; amended 1993, No. 234 (Adj. Sess.), § 16, eff. Nov. 1, 1994

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