Say What?
The staff speaks and you listen. It's that simple. This month's question is:
Obama just decided that America needs another holiday for banks, the post office, and Oprah to celebrate. El Presidente also decided that you're just the person to pick the theme for our new holiday.
You're a gearhead so we know you'll do the right thing. What is your new holiday all about?
Mike: My holiday is called National Senseless Act of Horsepower Day and it falls on February 15th. Obviously, women have lots of holidays dedicated to them and men deserve theirs right after the chocolate melts and the flowers die. The traditions of NSAH day are as follows: The day begins with your significant other detailing your truck in a string bikini, followed by you doing a victory burnout in front of your house without the fear of cops citing you for reckless driving because it's totally legal during my holiday. Next, you'll make a traditional trip to the nearest merchant of horsepower to buy yourself some presents, and NSAH day ends with a mandatory party at the local police station, hosted and paid for by the cops, using all the tax dollars they robbed us of via fix-it tickets throughout the year.
Calin: My new holiday would be called "International Must-leave Me Alone Day." On IM MAD, telemarketers, roving salesmen, religious fanatics, and anyone else that invades personal space uninvited, would be prohibited from doing so. There would be no cutting of grass, blowing of leaves, or any other jobs that involves noisy machines on this day, especially at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. It would also be considered rude to ask for help, so friends, family, and significant others, would have to be self-sufficient. I know this sounds like a lot to ask, but I think people can be on their own for a mere 24 hours.
Monica: My holiday would be called the National Day of Cruising, and all exotic cars, custom trucks, muscle cars, antique cars, and project vehicles, would find their way out of garages and onto public streets. In addition to streetable vehicles, race-only vehicles would be set free on public streets. Race cars, desert trucks, rally cars, and monster trucks, for example, would be seen traveling down local boulevards. On this special day, public streets would resemble the eclectic collection of vehicles that stream out of the SEMA Show each year. We might as well throw in tanks and military equipment. Abundant flatbeds and tow trucks would be available free of charge to assist stranded vehicles.
Andy: My holiday is going to be called "National Unplug Day." On this day, any electronic device or gadget would have to be unplugged and left idle. No emails, no cell phones, no annoying guys walking around wearing a Bluetooth headset like it was a piece of jewelry would be allowed. I could give my carpal tunnel flareups a break and kick back at home and watch the grass grow. Imagine a day when somebody actually has a face-to-face conversation instead of a lame text message. And don't get me started on that stupid Twitter thing. I couldn't really care less what your status is or why you think I need to see the latest jackass do something stupid on YouTube. Maybe this day could be called "Get a Life Day." Who's with me?
Obscure Vehicle Code Of The Month
Alabama motor vehicle code section 32-5A-59:
No vehicle shall be driven over any unprotected hose of a fire department when laid down on any street, private road or driveway to be used at any fire or alarm of fire, without the consent of the fire department official or police officer in command.
That would be one hell of a speedbump!