This month's column was so easy to write, and it's not because I'm a fantastic author. We all know that's just not true. Nonetheless, it only took me 1.5 seconds-yes, I counted-to come up with the idea for this column and another 3 minutes to jot it down. Hell, I knew what I'd be writing about before I even started working on this issue of Sport Truck. This column is dedicated solely to that delightful image of all that is right with the female species, parked right in the middle of this page. Wanna know why?
The reason I'm absolutely giddy about this woman isn't because I'm hooking up with her, but because she represents what I believe to be a first for any custom truck magazine. Firsts shouldn't really matter to you guys, except when they mean you are scoring something free and cool. Well, you are going to score something free and cool, thanks to the hard work of the staff of your favorite truck mag.
The catch is that you won't get the full payoff for three months. You'll have to buy the next three issues of Sport Truck for that. Now, I know what you're thinking; what a lame-ass idea and how dare we make you wait for your free stuff. Well, before you start sending angry e-mails my way, listen up. There is a payoff for grabbing those special issues of ST. If you do, not only will you find a massive poster in each issue, dedicated to hot trucks and hot women, but on the back side of each of those posters is a portion of the image on this page. Collect all four posters, and when you put them together, you've got yourself a 6-foot-tall, life-size poster of the gorgeous hottie on this page, Lana Kinnear.
Think about it. Think about slaving beneath your truck on a hot summer night and having Lana staring back at you from the wall of your garage. How is that for inspiration? Think about the conversation piece that gigantic poster will be once it's proudly displayed in your shop. And if you don't find this chick hot as hell, I guarantee the other posters will put a smile on your face. Yeah, I figured you'd be as excited about her as I am. See ya next month.
Home Project: Make Your Own Lana K. Poster!
1. Luckily for you, since you already have this issue in your hot little hands, you're a quarter of the way done! Now all you have to do is have a little patience and wait out the next few weeks. That's when not only a new issue of Sport Truck will be out but also the next piece of the "Lana K. Puzzle." Buy the mag, repeat Step One three times, and move on to Step Two.
2. Looks like your patience paid off, Grasshopper! Now the fun begins-as if this wasn't fun already. We know you're smart enough to have pulled the posters out of each issue at the perforations we made for your convenience, and we're sure by now you have all four amazing Sport Truck Collectable posters hanging on your walls. Time to peel 'em down and get to Step Three.
3. Here's where the Martha Stewart in you comes in handy. Bust out the clear cellophane tape stashed in your desk drawer. Starting with the feet, overlap each poster by 1/4 inch or so until the image of Lana is lined up perfectly. Tape each seam securely and let the fun begin.
4. This might be the hardest step of them all, but it does have the biggest payoff! You'll have to convince your wife/girlfriend/mom/grandma/aunt that this poster will somehow enrich their lives and not just look amazing hanging on your wall. Maybe remind them of how pretty they are, or get some flowers or something. You're on your own.